I am always a hype-queen of my birthday month, but this year feels eerily different. Of course, the fact that it's 2020 (the year needs no explanation) and that it will be the last birthday in my 20s are the two things my brain has accepted (now). The thing it can't get around with is the evident gray hair that has started to show up. It's not like I didn't have any before, but now they're glaringly visible.
I don't hate the concept of gray hair. I love the salt and pepper look, as it has its flair. The thought I am writing down is the sudden influx of the whites that I wasn't prepared for because I thought it would be steady graying. It's like one day you wake up to many grays and really can't do anything about it. Also, it's not like it's visible for everyone else. It's something only you realize, as a change in your body. The first impulse is to pluck them, and I am sorry to say that I acted on that impulse. I did it to feel better, knowing that there's no going back now. However, looking back, I know it was a terrible mistake. So, now I try to cover them up.
You see, I had done my research a long time ago, and even wrote an article about it. So, I wondered why it was still so shocking for me? I think it was just the fact that I didn't anticipate it for me, this year especially. Something I thought would happen only when I enter my 30s. That's where I went wrong. I should have asked my mother when it started for her. Also, I have no idea why, but white hair has a completely different texture, and that's why, I feel, it's easy to spot them. What's up with that? That irritated me even more.
Anyway, I am trying to accept this fact now and have promised myself that I won't impulsively look for any more gray hair to pluck. Sorry for the rant here, but have you ever felt the same? Let me know if you did and what you did about it, please.
Love,
Rashmi B.
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